Friday, December 31, 2004

New Year Wishes

(Thanks to MountainWings & Vidula Pathare)

Happy New Year to One and All. Thank You for very much for visiting this blog.

For all those who are making resolutions, you must see this movie.
New Year Wishes For All Software Engineers
May the year 2005 give you -
Independence of Java
Power of UNIX
Popularity of Windows
Extensibility of J2EE
Luxury of .Net
Efficiency of C
Ease of VB
Robustness of Oracle
Vision of UML
Simplicity of HTML
Style of Mac
Dexterity of Photoshop
Enormity of 3D Max
Vastness of Internet
Compactness of JPG
Richness of BMP
Coverage as Yahoo
Reach of Google
Prudence of Froogle
Security of Norton & McAfee
Intelligence of Unreal
Realism of Max Payne
Speed of NFS
Fun of RoadRash
Intelligence of Chessmaster
Impression of Quake3
And the goodness of all software that comes for free
Merry X-mas and Happy New Year!!!
Lots of L(uv + uck),
- Swapnil Shah.

Friday, December 24, 2004

The Mom Before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas,
when all thru the abode
Only one creature was stirring,
and she was cleaning the commode.

The children were finally sleeping,
all snug in their beds,
while visions of Nintendo and Barbie,
flipped through their heads.

The dad was snoring
in front of the TV,
with a half-constructed bicycle
propped on his knee.

So only the mom heard
the reindeer hooves clatter,
which made her sigh,
"Now what is the matter?"

With toilet bowl brush
still clutched in her hand,
She descended the stairs,
and saw the old man.

He was covered with ashes and soot,
which fell with a shrug,
"Oh great," muttered the mom,
"Now I have to clean the rug."

"Ho Ho Ho!" cried Santa,
"I'm glad you're awake."
"your gift was especially
difficult to make."

"Thanks, Santa, but all I want
is some time alone."
"Exactly!" he chuckled,
"So, I've made you a clone."

"A clone?" she muttered,
"What good is that?"
"Run along, Santa,
I've no time for chit chat."

Then out walked the clone -
The mother's twin,
Same hair, same eyes,
same double chin.

"She'll cook, she'll dust,
she'll mop every mess.
You'll relax, take it easy,
watch The Young and The Restless."

"Fantastic!" the mom cheered.
"My dream has come true!"
"I'll shop, I'll read,
I'll sleep a night through!"

From the room above,
the youngest did fret.
"Mommy! Come quickly,
I'm scared and I'm wet."

The clone replied,
"I'm coming, sweetheart."
"Hey," the mom smiled,
"She sure knows her part."

The clone changed the small one
and hummed her tune,
as she bundled the child
in a blanket cocoon.

"You're the best mommy ever.
I really love you."
The clone smiled and sighed,
"And I love you, too."

The mom frowned and said,
"Sorry, Santa, no deal."
That's my child's LOVE
she is trying to steal."

Smiling wisely Santa said,
"To me it is clear,
Only one loving mother
is needed here."

The mom kissed her child
and tucked her in bed.
"Thank You, Santa,
for clearing my head.

I sometimes forget,
it won't be very long,
when they'll be too old
for my cradle and song."

The clock on the mantle
began to chime.
Santa whispered to the clone,
"It works every time."

With the clone by his side
Santa said "Goodnight.
Merry Christmas, dear Mom,
You will be all right."
~Author Unknown~

Friday, December 17, 2004

Four Gifts

These days it is the Christmas holiday season sales in USA. In fact this weekend is the last one for buying gifts before Christmas. So going with that mood, today's LOTD is about Christmas Gifts.

Posted on MountainWings by Nola Parton-Jones, WA

A number of years ago when my youngest child of six children was 10 or 11, I was driving myself crazy trying to buy everything on her very lengthy Christmas list. I wanted to be a good parent and give my child the desires of her heart.

In the midst of all of this, a friend told me that he and his wife buy their children four gifts for Christmas every year.

Yes, FOUR gifts!
They are:
1. Something you want
2. Something you need
3. Something to wear and
4. Something to read.
If they complain, ask them, "Whose birthday are we celebrating?"
Once I started doing this, I thought my children would be awful about it, but the opposite happened. They really appreciated every gift they got, and they made me "label" them.

Since that time, Christmas at our house has been so much more enjoyable because we could focus on the true meaning of the celebration, and I wasn't driving myself crazy trying to find and buy gifts I couldn't afford.

And yes, I still buy and label four gifts for them each year.

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Height of using Customer Database (funny)

Ordering Pizza in 2020

Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your order?"

Customer: "Hi, I'd like to order."

Operator: "May I have your NIDN first, sir?"

Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's 6102049998-45-54610."

Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive,and the phone number's 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cellphone number's 266-2566. Which number are you calling from, sir?"

Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?"

Operator: "We're wired into the system, sir."

Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special pizzas..."

Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."

Customer: "Whaddya mean?"

Operator: "Sir, your medical records indicate that you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice."

Customer: "Damn. What do you recommend, then?"

Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Yogurt Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it"

Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something like that?"

Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion."

Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then. What's the damage?"

Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids, sir. The 'damage,' as you put it, comes $49.99."

Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number."

Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit."

Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here."

Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's overdrawn."

Customer: "Never mind. Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready.
How long will it take?"

Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up while you're out getting the cash, but carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward."

Customer: "How the hell do you know I'm riding a bike?"

Operator: "It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your car got repossessed. But your Harley's paid up, so I just assumed that you'd be using it."

Customer: "!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a July 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop."

Customer: (Speechless)

Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?"

Customer: "No, nothing. oh, yeah, don't forget the two free litres of Coke your ad says I get with the pizzas."

Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics."

Monday, December 13, 2004


A discussion thread from newsgroup

The first four bytes of every Java class file are specified to be 0xCAFEBABE, a magic number that can help tools quickly differentiate likely class files from non-class files. Is there a deep meaning lurked behind this value?
Why CAFEBABE? from Artima

Sunday, December 12, 2004

Prisoner's Dilemma

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Will the two prisoners cooperate to minimise total loss of liberty or will one of them, trusting the other to cooperate, betray him so as to go free?

The prisoner's dilemma is a type of non-zero-sum game. In this game theory problem, as in many others, it is assumed that each individual player is trying to maximise his own advantage, without concern for the well-being of the other player.
Prisoner's_dilemma @ Wikipedia

Friday, December 10, 2004

"Why Me !"

Arthur Ashe, the legendary Tennis player was dying. From world over, he received letters from his fans, one of which conveyed : "Why does GOD have to select you for such a bad disease"?

To this Arthur Ashe replied: The world over -- 5 crore children start playing tennis, 50 lakh learn to play tennis, 5 lakh learn professional tennis, 50,000 come to the circuit, 5000 reach the grand slam, 50 reach Wimbeldon, 4 to semi final, 2 to the finals, When I was holding a cup I never asked GOD "Why me?". And today in pain I should not be asking GOD "Why me?"
Happiness keeps u Sweet,
Trials keep u Strong,
Sorrow keeps u Human,
Failure Keeps u Humble,
Success keeps u Glowing,
and God Keeps u Going.

Thursday, December 09, 2004

The Art of Failure

Amit Varma, Cricinfo
Why some people choke and others panic

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

The Inner World of Shahrukh Khan

In The Inner World of Shahrukh Khan, a documentary which is like a week in the life of SRK while shooting for Main Hoon Na, he says:
It is stupid to wear dark glasses, when my whole life, I have worked to be recognized by people
However much I try to hate Shahrukh for his monotonous acting in every movie, I can't ignore the fact that he is very smart, intelligent, and a hard worker. It was nice to see the humble side of SRK, especially about teaching his children about religion when he himself does not know about it very well, the death of his parents even before he became a star,and his support for his elder sister who went into depression after their death.

Thursday, December 02, 2004

K Anil - Unassuming but destructive

The clinical colossus
Siddhartha Vaidyanathan - Cricinfo.
December 2, 2004

It is no surprise that Anil Kumble excelled in Machine Drawing. Every mechanical engineer will tell you that it is a subject that requires immaculate attention to detail – accurate measurements are crucial – and enormous amounts of patience, as most exercises require you to repeat similar procedures several times. It has varying effects on students – some develop an interest by virtue of their diligence while others create a mental block that seriously hampers their thought process. The ones who excel are those who view it as a simple method of illustrating a three-dimensional machine in different perspectives.

Kumble mastered it. More importantly, he swapped the drafter, an instrument critical in Machine Drawing, for the cricket ball and performed a similar function, all the way till wicket No. 434. He operated in millimeters and experimented in very narrow tolerance limits. Ironically, the reason he was different was because he didn't try different things.

For the generation who took to cricket in the early 1990s, Kumble was the most likely bowling hero. Kapil Dev was gone and Javagal Srinath hadn't arrived. We hardly saw an Indian fast bowler running in at full tilt and intimidating batsmen. But Kumble came close. He destroyed rather then beguiled. He cussed when he was taken for runs, and glared at batsmen who went after him. He pushed them back with a series of balls that were short of a good length before unleashing the yorker that uprooted their stumps. In many ways he was our Curtly Ambrose.

Thanks to Kumble, we hardly ever saw India lose a Test at home, let alone a series. If the strong Indian batting line-up was one axis of the Ajit Wadekar-Mohammad Azharuddin days, Kumble was the other. England were devoured, Sri Lanka and Zimbabwe dismissed. Australia and South Africa, who battled for supremacy through the '90s, were made to flounder. And when Pakistan had a chance of a series win, Kumble gobbled them all up in one spell. India's invincibility at home wasn't because of the pitches they played on. It was because of a man who knew precisely how to bowl on them.

In many ways, he has been India's most valuable player for the last 15 years, yet never filled stadiums like Virender Sehwag, nor fired the teenage imagination like Irfan Pathan. With an extreme sense of professionalism he carried out a job of winning matches for India – the count of which we have long forgotten.

But if one moment stands out, it's that afternoon in Antigua two years back. With a broken jaw and his face all plastered he got Brian Lara out and gave India a sniff of victory. It wasn't a statement he was making. It was a job and he was doing it despite the acute pain. Wally Grout, the great Australian wicketkeeper, once remarked, "Whenever I saw Ken Barrington coming to the wicket I thought a Union Jack was trailing behind him." Both on the field and off it, Kumble evokes similar emotions.

Amid all this he remained unassuming and, just like he had done with his clutch-pencil at RV College of Engineering, let his work speak for itself. You may miss his name if you take a peek into the college yearbooks of the late '80s. If you take a closer look at the section celebrating sporting achievements, you will come across the name K Anil almost everywhere. It is symbolic of his career - inconspicuous, almost hidden off the field, while being a colossal presence on it.

And today, Anil Kumble becomes India's greatest bowler. When people were writing him off, he may become the highest wicket taker for the calendar year when he played against quality batsmen - Australia, Pakistan, S Africa - overtaking Shane Warne, Muttiah Muralitharan and Steve Harmison.

This man, he will never inspire poetry, but once in a while, he will leave you short of words.